Till Death Do Us Part
by Elspeth Dramatique
Summary: It's Christine's wedding day and she is about to marry Raoul, but the only person on her mind is Erik. She relives everything that has happened in the past few weeks and must decide if she can love truly Raoul or if her heart forever belongs to her Angel
1. Chapter 1 Remember

"...I never go to weddings..." Erik's words echoed through her head, always they echoed through her head, as she fixed her veil and let it flow over her wedding dress. Everything about him followed her everywhere, no matter what she did or said, or where she went, he was always with her, inside her head, inside her heart. not that it wasn't something she wanted; she ached to see him, to hear his voice, to touch his face, if only it weren't for Raoul. There was nothing she could do to stop the wedding. He seemed intent on taking care of her, as though she were his child instead of his fiancé. Months ago, even weeks ago she wouldn't have minded, she would even have taken great comfort in the fact that everything was being taken out of her hands, but now that wasn't what she wanted, she wanted to be able to have her own life, and to choose what she wanted, and most of all, who she wanted. But Erik had taken care of that for her. She understood that he felt he had to do it, even if he didn't sense his life would soon be over, he felt that he could never give her everything she wanted, only he didn't seem to know that all she wanted, all she would ever need was him.  
  
Raoul was a good man, a good friend. He was kind and thoughtful and generous, and everything that any girl could ever ask for in a husband. That is, any girl who hadn't met Erik. Everyone who hadn't seen an Angel fallen from Heaven. Her Angel. Her very own, to have and to hold, only he had made her leave, he had needed to make her go away, and now she was alone, left alone in a crowd of strangers, where even her friends didn't know her. No one had known her like Erik. And she made an oath at that moment that no ever would. Not even her husband. She loved Raoul, but as her friend, as her brother, not as her husband, and she would have to tell him that, perhaps even before they were married.  
  
A knock at the door startled her out of her thoughts, and she was brought back to the biting reality. It was her wedding day, the day she would have to marry Raoul. He would take good care of her, she knew, just as he had promised Erik, just as he would promise her in just a few minutes.  
  
"Who is it?" Christine called to the person waiting patiently outside the door.  
  
"It's me!" Meg called from the other side of the door. Christine rushed over and opened it for her friend. "Are you alright Christine, I've been knocking on the door for nearly five minutes now."  
  
"Oh I'm so sorry Meg, I've just been thinking." Christine replied with a small sigh under her breath.  
  
"Thinking about him?" Meg asked gently. When did she become a psychic? Christine thought irritably, unnerved by how transparent she realised he must be. Of course, she though, Of course Meg would know that's who I'd be thinking about on my wedding day. Not the man I was about to marry, but the man I should be about to marry. "Christine?" Meg whispered.  
  
"Yes, I'm sorry Meg, I'm just so off centre today, I feel the way I always feel five minutes before a performance at the Opera, it's like my head is spinning."  
  
Meg put a comforting hand on Christine's arm. "Don't worry, everything will be fine. Just think, today you become the envy of every young woman in Paris!" Meg gave a small giggle. She's right; of course, every woman in Paris would give anything to be me at this moment, so why was it that she was the only one who wouldn't? Erik. Of course, the one person who could lift me higher than any cloud, higher than Heaven, and farther than dreams, to a place where everything was perfect. Of course, I always forget, when I remember Erik, to remember how much he scared me once. How terrified I was of his temper, even of his face. I wasted so much time being afraid. If only I had not been so afraid I would be with him now instead of here, about to pledge my heart and soul to someone when they already belong to another. All that Raoul will have to claim me with is my life, the life that I live only to prolong the time until I can be reunited with my love. What kind of life is that? How can I do that to Raoul, to my dear friend?  
  
"Christine, I came to tell you that you have an hour before the wedding starts." Meg said from her position at Christine's shoulder. Christine jumped, having forgotten that Meg was even in the room. "I know that you have a lot of things on your mid right now Christine, and I strongly suggest you go over them all before you say your vows today. You must be certain that you can give your life to Raoul, even though you don't think you have a choice, I believe that you do."  
  
"Sweet Meg," Christine thought as she watched her friend leave. I don't remember her being of such mature intellect. Maybe the time I spent beneath the opera house was time enough to change more than just my own heart. Christine had told her the whole story from beginning to end, not by choice, but because if she didn't tell somebody she knew she knew her heart would explode from the pain she kept hidden. So she confided in her friend, and she knew that Meg would not tell anyone. Meg had been and was still a very good friend to Christine, and had just given her a very good piece of advice, although she couldn't see how she had a choice. She never seemed to have a choice anymore. 


	2. Chapter 2 The Cellar

Ch.2  
As Raoul rowed them steadily across the lake, Christine continued to look back, tears falling from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks, dripping steadily onto her hands. She clasped them tightly in her lap, so tightly that her fingers were beginning to turn purple from lack of blood circulation. Raoul seemed to notice none of this as he continued his slow, steady pace.  
  
Why Erik? Christine thought desperately. Why must I go? I love you, can't I stay with you? She repeated this thought in her head over and over until they reached the other side of the lake what seemed like years later. Raoul helped Christine out of the boat, and nearly carried her a few steps while she tried to regain her balance on land. It had never felt strange getting out of the boat before, and it was strange to her that she would be now. But Erik has always been with you before. A voice in Christine's head reminded her. She missed him already, and she had barely been away for long at all. He was right there, on the other side of the lake, with the Persian, what was his name? Christine tried desperately to remember the name Erik had used to address this man who was his friend.  
  
"Raoul, what was the Persian man's name?" Christine demanded suddenly, not knowing why it was suddenly so important for her to know.  
  
"What? What has that got to do with the price of tea in China, Christine? Why does it matter?" Raoul demanded, still slightly shaken form his time in the torture chamber, Christine's question had reminded him of it all over again. He hadn't meant to snap at her, and he felt badly for it.  
  
"I believe Erik called him Daroga, Christine, he did not tell me his true name, as he felt it was of little consequence. Does that answer your question well enough?" Christie nodded her head positively.  
  
"Thank you Raoul, I'm not sure what caused me to ask. I can see that I've upset you."  
  
"No, no, not at all Christine." Raoul lied cheerfully, failing to hide the desperation in his voice. "We really should be getting on though, shouldn't we?"  
  
"What?" Christine had been thinking about the words Erik had spoken to the Daroga, as he called him. "Would you perhaps join me for a cup of tea my old friend." Old friend, he had never told her he had a friend. He had told her everything else about his life. All of the terrible things he had done, but he had never told her the good things, such as he must have done some things even then which made him worthy of friendship, of compassion, of love. Why is it that he can never see the good in himself, when he sees everything else?  
  
"Come Christine, we really must hurry." Raoul said urgently.  
  
"Why? Why must we hurry?" Christine asked, a little more harshly than she had meant, because she had been startled by his voice interrupting her thoughts. Raoul winced slightly but took her hand firmly and led her at a determined pace back up to the main floor of the Opera House. Christine's thoughts were whirling in her head, making it hard to separate them logically. "I shouldn't be leaving, I should stay with Erik, I love him." Was the one thing she could focus on. The one thing a very persistent voice in her head kept repeating over and over again. Yet just as persistent young man was leading her steadily away. Away from what she knew she wanted, and towards something she knew she could not escape.  
  
She was not afraid. She had never been afraid of Raoul. That was one of the things that had drawn her to him, especially during her time with Erik. Everything about Raoul was safe. He hid nothing, kept no secrets and made her feel very secure and cared for. But Erik, Erik had mad her feel alive, incredibly alive whatever else she was feeling, be it fear or anger or love. Love. Erik. And still Raoul led her steadily up through the cellars, up to a world of light. To a world she had once wanted, one that Erik still thought she wanted, or needed. But it was a world she no longer cared to see. She could go her whole life without seeing the crowded streets of Paris, and the bright sun that pained her eyes to look at.  
  
It was not as if she had never gone up into the streets while she had been with Erik. She had gone for many walks down the streets with him at night. She would have felt afraid walking the streets of Paris at night with anyone but Erik. She knew that no one would harm while he was with her, and he could most definitely protect her better than Raoul, who would surely die gallantly trying if it came to that.  
  
Dear Erik. Christine found herself thinking. It was never your strength, or lack thereof which pained you, but moreover your heart. Your heart has hurt you more times than I know surely, and I do believe that I have just hurt it once more, fatally, I fear. I want so badly to heel you, but how can I if it is not what you want?  
  
Suddenly, Christine caught the tip of her shoe in the hem of her skirt and went sprawling on the ground. She lay there for quite some time, despite Raoul's concerned words and gentle urgency that they must hurry. She had not stopped her silent weeping since they had left Erik's house, and she now wept openly, allowing the tears to coarse down her cheeks, and accepted Raoul's awkward attempts to comfort her, although she knew he did not understand what was grieving her so. He can't understand. Christine knew, as she continued to sob in the darkness. No matter how hard he may try, how can he ever understand?  
  
"Christine, please." Raoul pleaded, helping her back to her feet as her sobs lessened once again to a silent stream of tears running down her cheeks. "Please, we must hurry before~" he paused suddenly, looking ill at ease.  
  
Before he changes his mind. Christine finished silently in her head. He need not say it; she knew that those were the words he had been thinking. She wished with all her heart that Raoul's fear could be justified, but she knew that Erik would stand by his decision. She would return though, she promised that she would return, the day before her wedding to Raoul. She looked upon that day as the one glimmer of light in what was to be her future. Stop it! Her mind screamed at her. You have to stop thinking as though you've been sentenced to death instead of a life with your friend, a very dear friend. She would have to make the best of the life she was going to have with Raoul. With these thoughts all whirling around in her mind, Christine wiped her eyes, heaved a sigh, and followed Raoul out the doors of the Opera. 


	3. Chapter 3 Unchained?

Chapter 3  
  
"I'll be back." She promised, looking back at the great pillars, which stood in the foyer. The cold night air on her face helped very much to bring her back to the reality of the night, and as she pretended to listen to Raoul as he made plans for a hurried wedding, her thoughts drifted to the day when she could finally return. She wanted nothing more than to leap from the carriage and run back down to the cellar on the fifth floor.  
  
"...and then we could go away to England. Yes, I think that would be best..." Christine looked out the window of the carriage as Raoul continued his endless banter. Her eyes followed the road leading to her flat, where she could get all of her things together before the wedding. She didn't understand why she had to leave the place, there was no possible way that Raoul could be afraid of Erik coming for her, he had never even been to there as far as she knew.  
  
Raoul wished her goodnight and kissed her on the cheek. She repeated the words and stepped out of the carriage.  
  
"Goodnight Raoul," She returned quietly.  
  
"I'll come for you tomorrow, and take you to one of my family's estates, where you'll be quite safe." Christine nodded silently, and watched as he returned to the carriage and drove away.  
  
"Alright." She said to herself, trying to sort out her emotions logically. Everything felt wrong, she felt off-centre and terribly confused. She knew she would have a good life with Raoul; he was a wonderful person, really, when he wasn't trying to be the hero. It would be everything she ever wanted, if only – if only she had never met Erik. If she had never known what more the world could offer she would have been so completely content in the life she saw before her. She may even have taken some pleasure in teasing him and getting everything she wanted like a small child. She wanted so much more now; she wanted Erik. If only she could forget his unearthly, never-ending love for her, her own in turn for him, too late.  
  
Only it didn't matter, the door to that world was closed and bolted, and there was no window back in. There was nothing she could do now; this was how her life would be. She would marry Raoul, and he would make certain that they moved far away, although her heart ached at the thought of being far from Erik, she wasn't sure exactly how far it was to England, she had never really paid much attention to that sort of thing, singing had always seemed more important to her, music always took the upper hand. Now she doubted she would ever be able to sing again without thinking of Erik. Every melodious chord would remind her of him, everything about him, his dark, ominous, yet somehow greatly comforting presence, even thorough her fear she had felt it. She had to stop thinking about him, she had to stop thinking about England, and how horribly far it was.  
  
She knew that Raoul only wanted to keep her safe, but he could never understand that there was no way she could feel safe so far from the opera, so far everything. How could I feel safe so far from home? So far from Erik? She thought desperately, but even in thinking this she knew she would, in time. In time perhaps she would begin to forget, and the aching in her heart would subside. Perhaps in time she could begin to find some form of happiness with Raoul. With all these thoughts in her head, Christine got ready for bed and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.  
  
"I love you, Christine."  
  
"I love you too, Erik." She replied, smiling up at him. Their wedding had been so beautiful. The most perfect day Christine had ever imagined. Erik had spared no expense for this extremely special occasion, and being the perfectionist that he was, had made certain that everything went off without a hitch. Christine's wedding dress was even more beautiful than the first Erik had chosen for her, and her hair was done up in swirls on top of her head, intertwined with tiny white roses. Erik wore a traditional black tuxedo, but with some small alterations that were hardly noticeable, although you could tell there was something different about the attire of this man from that of the others. He also donned a single red rose in the breast pocket.  
  
Meg smiled as she walked over to the couple. "Congratulations!" She exclaimed excitedly, catching Christine up in a hug.  
  
"Oh thank you Meg, it's great that you and your mother could make it!" Christine smiled at her friend and Erik put his arm around her. Everything felt so perfect, so right. As she looked around at all the smiling faces of the happy guests, and felt her own heart swelling with happiness and love, she knew that she was dreaming.  
  
Christine woke with a start. It took her a few minutes to regain her bearings and figure out where and how she was. The dull throbbing in her heart reminded her that her dream had been just that, and would never come true; could never come true. She rolled over in her bed, and drifted back into a light, uneasy sleep.  
  
It came as no surprise that she felt anything but rested when Raoul came to get her in the morning. She heard his carriage pull up outside her flat and jumped frantically out of bed, cursing under her breath. She began rushing around like a madwoman; finding a dress, and her corset and other undergarments.  
  
Raoul knocked briskly at the door, obviously feeing much better after a good nights sleep, and expecting Christine to have done the same.  
  
"One moment Raoul!" Christine called from inside her flat. "I haven't quite finished getting dressed yet." Raoul frowned outside the door, not having expected such a delay; he had been hoping she would be ready to go when he arrived. Hopefully, he thought impatiently, she has already finished packing.  
  
Christine dressed as quickly as she could, no easy feat on a good day. Luckily, she managed no to kill herself, and hurried to let Raoul in. When entered he saw at once that any hope he had that she was already packed was useless.  
  
"You aren't ready, Christine." Was all he could manage in his surprised disappointment. He sounded like a schoolboy talking to his mother on a day when she had baked the wrong kind of cookies.  
  
"I'm sorry Raoul." Christine said with a sigh. "I was so tired when I got here last night, and I didn't sleep very well -" She moved quickly around her flat, gathering up her things and putting them in one of the large suitcases, which had been her father's.  
  
"Did you not sleep well, Christine? I'm sorry." Raoul exclaimed. Christine remembered her dream from the night before, and felt a slight flush creep up her cheeks.  
  
"You look flushed Christine, are ill?" Raoul asked, his concern deepening.  
  
"No, no Raoul, I'm not ill." She replied, moving to her closet to collect her dresses. "I'm simply tired. I haven't had much rest in the past few days, with the Opera and -"  
  
"Well you may have all the rest you like once you are safely settled." Raoul interjected quickly, a trace of satisfaction in his drawn voice.  
  
"Nice to have your permission." Christine thought bitterly, and immediately felt horrible for it. Raoul was merely trying to make things easier for her. He had always done whatever he could for her, in the time they had been friends. She couldn't begrudge him now for doing the same things that had brought them so close together. Too close, Christine found herself thinking, but in time she knew she would adapt, and adjust to the life she must have been destined to live. She finished packing as quickly as she could with Raoul's help, which was made slightly more difficult by his complete lack of domestic house skills.  
  
"Where should this go?" Raoul asked, picking up a small white garment. "Maybe the smaller suitcase. What a peculiar thing, isn't it?" Raoul stopped and dropped the undergarment like it was on fire, his face flushing crimson. "I am so sorry Christine, I did not realize," he stammered, covering his face with one of his hands.  
  
Christine hid an amused smile behind one of her own hands, "it's fine Raoul, really, no harm done." She retrieved the undergarment fro the floor and placed it in one of the suitcase. They finished packing, Raoul being very mindful of his selected packing items, which merely increased Christine's amusement, and his own embarrassment. Raoul loaded the suitcases and other belongings she had decided not to part with into one of the awaiting carriages, saving the second for the two of them.  
  
They drove to one of the many de Chagny estates, where a few servants came out to help unload her luggage.  
  
Christine felt unnervingly useless throughout all of this, which led her thoughts to wander to the dream she had had the night before. It had a wedding. She remembered. But I was married to Erik. She moved out of the path of one of the servants. An older gentleman, whom she would later learn went by the name of Gus. After all of her luggage had been unloaded, Raoul bid her good day, excusing himself by telling her he would let her get settled on her own.  
  
Christine sighed and looked around the enormous house. So... 


End file.
